I’ve seen a lot of sports on television in my time and I can’t help but wonder who decides what kind of game is really a sport. I realize there are a lot of “sports only” channels now that we have cable and satellite television, and the good old basic channels still want their cut of advertising and viewership from airing sporting events like they always have. This makes the pickings pretty slim when it comes to filling airtime and they’re trying to sneak some things in on us that just are not sports.
Just because you wear shirts that are the same color with the same logo and your name on them as a uniform does not mean your game is a sport. For instance, let’s look at bowling. Any game that encourages you to rent the equipment needed for playing it, doesn’t qualify as a sport. Even though you may be more at risk than other players about getting athlete’s foot because you must wear shoes that thousands of other people have had on their feet and never washed (the shoes, not the feet although it may apply to both), that still doesn’t make it a sport.
I know before I say it that this is not going to be very popular but it is the truth. Golf is not a sport. Now hear me out before you throw that rotten tomato at me. When your favorite pastime can be played in a cow pasture using a stick to knock a rock into a gopher hole, I’m sorry boys and girls, but that just is not a sport and should be dropped from the list. All types of billiards and pool matches are off the list for the same reason, although you might at least get a little muddy while lying on your stomach to play these in the pasture. Also, by my definition, anything you “shoot” that doesn’t actually involve the firing of a gun is not a sport.
Any game you can play when you are falling down drunk and still stand a good chance of winning is not a sport. Throwing darts is a great example of this. I know of several bars and pubs that have regularly scheduled dart tournaments, in part to bring in a bigger drinking crowd. And if you actually play the game better when you’re as drunk as Cooter Brown on a warp-wheeled bicycle, there is no way you’re playing a sport, even if they do televise it.
I’m going up to channel 14,763. I believe the International Thumb Wrestling finals are about to start and I don’t want to miss it!
What is the most obscure or outrageous thing you’ve ever heard called a sport? Let me know in the comments below.