So They Found Water On Mars

NASA proudly announced that they have found water on Mars. This means that there could possibly be life of some sort on the planet. But you know the government, always trying to make something work to their advantage. I read that they are going so far as to consider letting astronauts use the water they’ve found to drink and to mix up jet propulsion fuel for the return trip home.

I can see it now. Three or four male astronauts, Let’s face it. We know they’re not going to send a woman along on the first ride to Mars,  in their space suits standing around a trickle of water about as big as a match stem, discussing how they’re going to catch it and who is going to stay outside long enough to collect enough water for this magic recipe. Since I’m sure the astronauts in question will be married with families of their own, none of them are going to know how to cook anything.

 

Suddenly, out of nowhere comes an empty water bottle left over from lunch because the shuttle is going to be a real mess without a woman’s touch. Then some poor sucker gets to stand out there in their white space suit for days and nights trying to catch the needed water only to give up and go back to the mother ship to use the potty. Everyone knows the surest way to get someone to pee if they can’t is to turn on a faucet close by. Works like a charm every time.

Men don’t read direction; they just jump in feet first and start putting stuff together. Although NASA will make sure they have all the equipment and instruments they’ll need to make this magic recipe of fuel to get back home, one of them will say they can just eyeball it and it will be just as good. Um… Hello! You’re not mixing up a baby bottle here. This really is rocket science. Screw this one up, and you’re not in the dog house. Oh no, you’re stuck on Mars forever or until  AAA  Roadside Assistance can get there with a gas can to get you going again. Thank goodness one of the guys had his card in the wallet he wasn’t supposed to bring on the trip.

Silly questions here. Isn’t Mars called “the red planet” because there is so much iron on the surface that it blows like dust clouds? If so, wouldn’t any water found there be “iron water” on top of being super salty making it pretty much impossible to drink? And wouldn’t all of these things in the water have to be calculated into the equation if they were ever going to try to use the water to make rocket fuel? See, rocket science. I rest my case.

Same Sex Marriage Is Causing Christian Persecution In America

I’ve stayed quiet on this subject as long as I can. I keep seeing where people and businesses are getting into trouble for refusing to take part in any way in gay marriages because of their religious beliefs. I’ve also seen people such as the great George Takei say that people are allowed to hold their religious beliefs but not to impose those beliefs onto others.

My question for them is what if the Supreme Court passed a law that said that same-sex couples couldn’t be seen dancing in public? What if you had to go out with a couple of your lesbian or other female friends so that you could enjoy a few drinks and some dancing? What if you were not allowed to dance with your partner, but were forced to dance eith your female friend just to be able to get out on the dance floor? I’m pretty sure the LGBT community would be up in arms screaming that they were being discriminated against.

Now imagine people started telling you that you have a right to be LGBT, but you have to hold those beliefs to yourself and shut up and just do what the court has told you to do. Would you like that? Would you like being pushed back into the closet and having the door locked on you to keep you there for good this time? No, you say? Then why are you asking Christians to do the same thing?

Yes, accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior is a choice, but once the choice is made, Jesus leads all parts of our lives. We follow Him as closely as we can in an effort to be more like Him, although we’ll never make it. And part of that belief for many Christians is that Adam was made for Eve and not Steve. I’m sorry if this hurts feelings and costs me Facebook friends or Twitter followers or whatever.

I am a freelance book editor and proofreader, and I don’t have a problem with editing the types of books that a lot of other Christian editors do because I pray daily that God will send me the manuscripts He wants me to work on. I feel every story needs to be told. If I feel like God puts it on my heart not to take one, I don’t. I only ever returned one manuscript that I refused to work on and that was because of my religious beliefs, but not for the ones you’re probably thinking of.

My point is that I feel like Christians are being persecuted in the country that was founded in large part so that all people could enjoy the right to worship in the way they choose to do so. If someone says they can’t take on whatever project you may have, no matter what it is, because they feel like it goes against their religious beliefs for any reason, not just because it involves a same-sex couple, please find someone else to do the job for you. Everything doesn’t have to turn into a crusade, people. Just move on to the next guy who will be more than proud to take your money.

There are very few things in this world that only one person can do. There’s always someone else waiting in the wings to do the job for you. How about just telling other folks what happened and letting them go to someone else from the start . Let the business owner wonder what happened to all their business and why it seems to have inexplicably dried up. If it’s a person in a government office, just get someone else in the office to issue the license or do whatever. If everyone in the office feels it goes against their religious beliefs, go to another courthouse or municipality. This isn’t as complicated as people are making it.

Christians, hit your knees and pray and open your hearts and let God speak to you and tell you what He wants you to do. Everyone just take a deep breath and stop blowing your stack if you can’t get what you want when you want it. That’s what’s wrong with the world today. Everyone wants instant gratification, but isn’t the thing you want just a little more worthwhile if you have to work for it a little bit? I believe so. God bless and thank you for reading my rant.

Have something to add to this post? Join the conversation in the comments.

Why do people say they want to hear the truth, but when you tell them…

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#ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm Tangerine Juice?

Sitting here eating a tangerine when this occurred to me. Just one of those things that makes you go hmmm (or make me go hmmm at least, lol).

If there is orange juice and lemon juice and even lime juice, why isn't there tangerine juice? #ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm

— Crystal Schall (@fatchick411) December 19, 2014

What makes you wonder or just go hmmm? Let me know in the comments. I love hearing what folks have to say 🙂

Fake It Till You Make It

I have bipolar disorder. That means I have some wild mood swings. I can be high as a kite feeling 10 feet tall and bullet proof with enough energy to clean a whole house in a couple of hours, and the next thing I know I can find myself in a pit of depressive despair so low that I don’t even want to get out of bed and don’t have the energy to change out of my night clothes.

The worst part is that I never know which way I’ll wake up or when the mood swing will hit. They can be gradual, taking place over days, weeks, or even months, or they can be super fast and happen in the blink of an eye. I can be laughing one minute and crying like a baby the next. Sometimes my mood can swing more than once a day. Gotta love that rapid cycling, yeah! Not!

I take medications for bipolar disorder, and they do help stabilize me to an extent. I lived my life for over two years without any psych meds at all, and life is much more fun and bearable with them than without them, believe me. I take something for the depression, and something to stabilize my mood, and something to help with the mania, and something to keep me in the groove. It took several years and a lot of trial and error to finally find a medication cocktail that even remotely works for me. Most drugs seem to peter out over time as I take them for some odd reason. Hopefully, these won’t do the same.

Yes, even with medication I still struggle to keep it all straight. It’s hard to make it in a world where everyone expects everyone else to be “normal.” What does “normal” even mean? No one fits the dictionary definition of the word. Finding someone who is truly “normal” would be like finding someone who was “perfect.” It’s impossible to do because they don’t exist. But that doesn’t stop people from expecting it, from looking for it in their fellow man, in every man, woman, and child they meet on the street.

That’s where my personal mantra comes in, “Fake it till you make it.” All you have to do is to build yourself a mask that looks like what you think a “normal” person looks like and put it on every day until you have the energy, the strength, and the other resources to be that “normal” person. You can hide behind the mask when it all gets to be too much for you and no one will be the wiser. You can don the mask when you would much rather just stay in bed and be left alone, turn yourself on autopilot, leave your brain in bed where the rest of you wants to be, and walk around with a smile on your face like everything is perfectly okay.

Wearing the mask really does work wonders. You should try it sometime. Or have you been wearing the mask so long that you’ve forgotten what the real you looks like?

Make It Anywhere

Man Gets Even

Make-up had to be a creation of a man somewhere who was looking to get even with his wife or girlfriend for PMS. Who else could have come up with a way to have almost every woman in the known world addicted to smearing goop all over her face on a daily basis? And not just one layer of goop but multiple layers of the stuff. This man even has women getting so close to their eyes with sharp objects that their mothers should be cringing at the thought but can’t because they’re busy doing it too. If I got that close to my eye with a knife, I’d hear people screaming at me from all sides, which actually wouldn’t be a good idea since I’d have a knife that close to my eye and they might just startle me. Then it wouldn’t be next to my eye but most likely hanging out of it instead. But I digress.

There are women who actually will not leave their homes without this goop on their faces for fear of being seen without it. I’ve even heard of women who sleep with a base coat on. Now how ugly do you have to be if you need goop to cover up who you really are even when you’re asleep? What, are they afraid if they sneak up on the mirror first thing in the morning without their make-up it’s going to make a break for it and run away?

And not only has this man convinced women it’s impossible to go outside without it, he made it in such a way that it has to be spackled on. Then as soon as a woman goes outside into the heat, it starts to melt, and the next thing she knows, she’s standing there with her face on her shirt. So the latest poor defenseless soul to be taken in by this man’s scheme has to run for the nearest mirror to paint her face back on. But this only works as long as she’s in a cool place. When she goes back outside it melts again, and now the woman has two faces on her shirt because we all know a woman will lug a large duffel bag around to carry all their make-up never thinking to carry an extra shirt to catch that extra face. Well played sir, well played indeed.

But Is It A Sport?

I’ve seen a lot of sports on television in my time and I can’t help but wonder who decides what kind of game is really a sport. I realize there are a lot of “sports only” channels now that we have cable and satellite television, and the good old basic channels still want their cut of advertising and viewership from airing sporting events like they always have. This makes the pickings pretty slim when it comes to filling airtime and they’re trying to sneak some things in on us that just are not sports.

Just because you wear shirts that are the same color with the same logo and your name on them as a uniform does not mean your game is a sport. For instance, let’s look at bowling. Any game that encourages you to rent the equipment needed for playing it, doesn’t qualify as a sport. Even though you may be more at risk than other players about getting athlete’s foot because you must wear shoes that thousands of other people have had on their feet and never washed (the shoes, not the feet although it may apply to both), that still doesn’t make it a sport.

I know before I say it that this is not going to be very popular but it is the truth. Golf is not a sport. Now hear me out before you throw that rotten tomato at me. When your favorite pastime can be played in a cow pasture using a stick to knock a rock into a gopher hole, I’m sorry boys and girls, but that just is not a sport and should be dropped from the list. All types of billiards and pool matches are off the list for the same reason, although you might at least get a little muddy while lying on your stomach to play these in the pasture. Also, by my definition, anything you “shoot” that doesn’t actually involve the firing of a gun is not a sport.

Any game you can play when you are falling down drunk and still stand a good chance of winning is not a sport. Throwing darts is a great example of this. I know of several bars and pubs that have regularly scheduled dart tournaments, in part to bring in a bigger drinking crowd. And if you actually play the game better when you’re as drunk as Cooter Brown on a warp-wheeled bicycle, there is no way you’re playing a sport, even if they do televise it.

I’m going up to channel 14,763. I believe the International Thumb Wrestling finals are about to start and I don’t want to miss it!

What is the most obscure or outrageous thing you’ve ever heard called a sport? Let me know in the comments below.

Ha, Ha, Ha! Dan Ahdoot on Twitter

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Am I the only person who can’t stop imagining what it would be like for the Ricola guy to sing “Eeeebola”.

— Dan Ahdoot (@standupdan) October 2, 2014

No, Dan, you’re not. Had the same thought myself, I was just too embarrassed to say anything. But since you put it out there–well, yeah, I want to hear him say it too. And so does my brother, but don’t tell anyone that last bit, lol.

Unemployment: Put the Blame Where It Belongs

I’ve heard a lot about unemployment numbers lately, what with the midterm elections and all. Republicans blame Democrats, Democrats throw the blame back at the Republicans. Conservatives lob the blame grenade at the Liberals who drop the blame bomb on the Tea Partiers. It’s a never ending blame game.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying our elected officials are blameless or should be let off the hook, but I know several young people who are unemployed at the moment. (I‘m in my 40’s, which means if you’re the same age as one of my kids or younger, you are a “young people.” Since my oldest is almost 30, that covers a lot of ground.) None of them seem to be in a hurry to find a job. If this is the case with the majority of young people in the US, well, we can’t lay all the blame on Mr. Smith up in Washington. He can put any program or incentive or law in place to encourage, bribe, coerce, or force people to work and it won’t do any good if they just do not want a job.

I don’t know if young people don’t know how to look for a job properly or if they just have a streak of lazy running up their backs a mile wide. News flash: A person cannot stay up all night watching TV and playing video games and then lie in bed until ten or eleven o’clock the next day before turning over for the first time and hope to find a job. That just isn’t how this works. Finding a job is a job in and of itself and has to be treated like one.

I’m watching kids right out of high school and other young people who have little or no experience doing anything, certainly not something they are applying for at the time, ask for outrageous starting salaries, full benefits packages, even asking about paid vacation time right out of the gate. Now, I understand one has to be careful to know everything being offered before accepting a job these days, but come on, how many kids do you know straight out of high school who know enough about anything to ask for $10 an hour with full benefits when the minimum wage is $7.25?.

I can totally understand having a high sense of self-worth. I worked hard to instill it into my own kids, but have we created a generation of monsters who think the world owes them a living because we couldn’t or wouldn’t say no? Because we wanted everyone to feel like a winner and made sure all who participated got a trophy whether they deserved one or not? Because the hardest thing we asked little Johnny and Jenny to do was to clean their rooms and when they didn’t we stepped in and did it for them because it was easier than fighting with them over it? I’d say probably so from the looks of things.

When these young people finally decide to get out of bed and grace the world with their presence for the day, they can be very selective about where they are willing to work. In my day, we got up early, chose an area to go to and blanket with applications, hit every place we thought might hire us, and came home and made a plan to do the same thing in another area the next day. Not so with today’s young people. From what I’ve seen, they only put in one, maybe two applications a day or possibly a week, and that is if someone tells them a place is hiring and they already have a friend working there who can speak up for them.

I’m not stupid, I know it’s always better to have a reference already working for a company who can speak up for you when you’re trying to get a job, but waiting for a job to open up at the place where your buddy works while you’re selling off your stuff to pay the rent isn’t the best plan of action to find a job. This is what I’m seeing time and time again with young people today. Has being connected to the internet and cell phones 24/7 created a world where networking has now taken over? Where people can no longer think for themselves and must live and work in large groups whenever possible? A world where nothing can happen outside of your network because of constant attention to Facebook friends, likes, and pokes and Twitter followers, retweets, and shares? It certainly seems that way.

If you’re looking for some great information about landing a job, especially a part-time or first-time job, take a look at Adel Landman Steyn’s When Finding A Job Is Your Job (Part 1: The Part Time Job)

Yes, part of the unemployment problem lies at the feet of our elected officials for not creating new opportunities for work. But I’d say more of it lies at the feet of the people who simply do not want to work. Those who do not want to go out and do what it takes to find one of the jobs that is already out there. Those who want $20 an hour to work in a pie factory tasting pies. Those who want to start out at the top looking down at the bottom. Those living in a dream who need to wake up and smell the coffee before it’s too late and they’ have run their lives and this country off into a ditch no one can pull any of us out of.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

 

 

One of Those Days

Have you ever just had one of those days when it seems like there is nothing between your ears but air? That’s the kind of day I’m having here in The Land of Confusion. I sit down to get started on something and BAM!  A light flashes, a butterfly drifts past, a T-Rex tries to grab my yogurt … and my concentration is shot. Even working from my trusty To Do list with the alarms on my phone and tablet (Yes, it takes both of them. Don’t judge me.) aren’t working for me today. I have to keep checking to see what the alarms are for and the list keeps making a break for it trying to get out the door!

So, here I sit with a crapload of stuff to get done and not enough brain to get it done with. Might as well rent out the empty space between my ears and make some extra cash for Christmas. Any takers?