Living large in Fatopia.

I don’t know how you do it, but I’m just not up for paying an arm and a leg to have someone else file my yearly income taxes for me. I buy a program each year (I prefer Tax Act) that helps me by asking a bunch of dummy questions that even I can’t mess up. I answer them, fill in the blanks it tells me to, click where it tells me to, and in the blink of an eye, I’m ready to e-file my income taxes.

So, my 2014 US federal and state income taxes are filed (YAY, ME!!!). Now, where’s my refund? How does an average, everyday FatChick411 like me go about finding out when my return will be ready to be released to my bank account?

Well, Uncle Sam his this nifty little tool right on the IRS website called Where’s My Refund? You can use this tool once a day to check on your income tax refund. Well, you can actually use it more than once a day, but it won’t do you much good as it’s only updated once every 24 hours, usually overnight while we sleep.

There’s also an app available through the Google Play Store called IRS 2 Go that allows you to check the same information. Just search for it in the Play Store. If you can’t find it the way it’s written, leave out the spaces. You know how this works; this ain’t your first rodeo.

Where's My 2014 US Federal Income Tax Refund? Click here to find out!

Click on the big piggy bank to find out when your US income tax refund will be released if you’ve already e-filed your federal tax return.

Here’s what you’ll need to check your filing status with these tools:

  • Your Social Security number
  • Filing status (single, married – filing single, married – filing joint, Head of Household, Qualifying Widow(er))
  • Your refund amount in exact whole dollars

And that’s it. Just go to the website or the app, log in with your info, and you’re good to go. You’ll get an update on where your taxes are in the filing process and their release date if one is available. Share this info with your family and friends. No sense waiting on the phone all day if you don’t have to.

 

 

**UPDATE** 2:10 pm 2/21/2015

This article has been highlighted on theneeds.com because of one of my tweets on Twitter. Please take a moment and vote it up if you can and let them know you like what you’ve read. Thank you!

 

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I’ll admit, the last couple of weeks I’ve had a hard time coming up with something to be thankful for until I started writing. Not so this week. This week I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I plan to let everyone know it too. Can’t promise cutesy pics, but I do promise heartfelt gratitude and thanks.

226I am thankful for a little Peanutter named Shelby. She has brought so much love into our lives that I can’t even imagine what life was like before she was here. I know there was life before she was here, I just really prefer not to think about it too hard to be honest. The world is a much brighter place since she and Kason have entered my life. Oh, who is Kason? I’ll explain that more in my next paragraph. Shelby, our Peanutter, I love you so much that there just aren’t words enough for it, so I’ll just say I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!

216Kason is my grandson. Thankfully, his mom has agreed to marry my son, so we get Kason in the bargain. Totally cool! Now I have two grand babies, no waiting! And Kason is a cool little dude too. He doesn’t say much, but when he talks, he really has something to say. I don’t think it’s any kind of developmental delay or speech delay, I just think Little Man doesn’t have  a lot to say and isn’t wasting energy when he doesn’t have to. Because he’s smart as a little whip. Nothing gets past Kason. And that’s part of what I love about him, the way he doesn’t waste his resources on anything he doesn’t have to, but also doesn’t let anything get past him. One of these days, this kid will be working for the CIA or Secret Service or someone like that because he’s going to know where all the skeletons are in all the best closets around him. Granny loves you, Kason!

Thankful Thursday with FatChick411 Buton

What are thankful for? Please share in the comments section and inspire others.

As always, all the glory for everything in my life goes to God. He’s the Man with the Plan. I just need to work on having a little more faith so I can stay out of His way and let Him work His plan at His own pace. But He knows I’m not perfect, and I know I’m not perfect, so I guess I’m okay. He’s the only one who is perfect, and He’s got His job covered, so it’s all good.

 

 

 

0116151259I’m thankful for yogurt. When I can eat nothing else or keep nothing else on my stomach, good ol’ yogurt hangs in there with me like a rusty fish hook. Doesn’t matter what kind it is either. It can be Great Value from Walmart, Dannon with their Biffidus Regularus, Greek Yogurt… just as long as it’s yogurt, I’m doing good with it. Of course, when you’re lactose intolerant yogurt might not be the best thing to keep eating three or four ties a day, but the way I’ve got if figured, God has a plan for everything, even fatchicks eating yogurt so many times each day. We’ll see what it is in time I’m sure.

 

surgeon-penguinI’m thankful for doctors who actually understand when their patients are having a hard time with things other than what they are treating them for. I was supposed to see my stomach doctor yesterday. Well, narcolepsy reared its ugly head with a vengeance for whatever reason and I couldn’t even stay awake at all yesterday. My mother called the doctor’s office to let them know I wouldn’t be able to make the appointment, but she had to leave a message on their machine. Now, we’d been dealing with another doctor’s office that I’d had to miss another appointment with for another reason, and they weren’t nearly as nice and understanding. In their defense and in the spirit of full disclosure, I can’t say I made it easy for them to be nice about it. They hit me with attitude and I gave it back in spades and then some. However, dealing with my stomach doc’s office today renewed my faith in doctors and their office staff that all of them don’t have God complexes and put their britches on one leg at a time just like the rest of us do. They even rescheduled the appointment as soon as possible, which I greatly appreciate. These guys rock!

Okay, maybe not so many this time, but some biggies are in there. Or at least they’re biggies for me.

Thankful Thursday with FatChick411 Buton

What are thankful for? Please share in the comments section and inspire others.

So what if it’s a day late and a dollar short? Shelby’s still a cutie pie, and all is forgiven, right? Yeah, I thought so, LOL.

I'll drive, Paw Paw, you take a break. I got this!

I’l drive, Paw Paw, you take a break. I got this!

 

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This time last year my family and I were living in a trailer without power because the trailer we had been living in had just burned. The inside breaker box overloaded and caught fire in the back bedroom. Thankfully, we were all awake at the time. Everyone was in the kitchen and living room at the time cooking and just hanging out, so all we had to do was get everyone out and away from the trailer. But we forgot all about Mr. FatChick’s gun cabinet being in that bedroom with all the long guns and ammo until it got hot enough for the ammo to start going off on its own.

Middle DS, his Pregnant GF, and a close family friend, Almost a Son, were sharing that bedroom at the time. Thankfully, the three of them were in the kitchen cooking when something made Middle DS look down the hallway that was covered by a thick curtain. He took off down the hallway, and later told us the door knob to the bedroom was glowing. All he could think of was the baby stuff they had in the room like the sonogram pics, the baby book she’d just filled in the family tree in, the outfit he had gotten the baby that said, “Daddy’s Girl” on the chest.

Although Middle DS was in the local volunteer fire department and knew better, instinct took over and he grabbed that glowing door knob and flung that door open in hopes of saving anything he could. Thankfully, as the door flew open, he hit his knees as fire shot down the hallway ceiling over his head. He realized then it was too late to save anything and the only thing left to do was get everyone out and to safety. That’s when he and my Almost a Son went into action.

Middle DS started yelling at the top of his lungs that the house was on fire, to get out and get out now! Almost a Son went into action trying to help Middle DS’s Pregnant GF out of the trailer. Youngest DS and Mr. FatChick headed out the door.

All I really remember is that I was sitting in the chair by the door still holding the phone because I was trying to call 911. I’d been sitting so long, I was stiff and stove up, so I was getting up and moving slowly, like the old fat lady I am. My laptop was sitting in front of me where I was working on an editing project for a client when all the excitement started, so I grabbed it by the screen and snatched with everything I had. Middle DS yelled at me not to worry about the stupid laptop, and I told him I had to finish the project and couldn’t work without it. It’s really crazy what goes through your mind at times like that, times when your world is literally burning down around your ears, but that’s what went through mine. I had to finish that project.

It’s my understanding that Almost a Son had gotten Middle DS’s Pregnant GF to her car safely, although she slipped and fell in the yard one time because our yard was like a mud bog, but she was there and safe at the car. Middle DS had come back for me, and I remember throwing the phone back toward the house as I walked across the porch on bare feet with my laptop dangling from my hand by the screen and unbeknownst to me half the cord trailing from it as well. He helped me make it to the steps, and when I stepped onto the first one, they tried to flip with me. Remember now, I’m a big girl, so this isn’t surprising, except for the fact that this is the first time they’d ever tried to throw me.

I handed the laptop to my son so I could hold on to the hand rail and ride these puppies down for eight seconds. On my way down, I started calling out common sense orders to the guys in the yard like, “Kill the power!” which Middle DS took off to do (not sure what he did with the laptop). By this time I’d hit the muddy yard with my bare feet and was trying not to slip-slide away as I headed toward Pregnant GF’s car. I have to give her credit, she started to come back across the mud for me, but I yelled at her to stay where she was. She was already safe, let me make my way to her. Just get into the car and sit down so we’d know where she was and that she was safe.

As I’m crossing the great mud bog a-slippin’ and a-slidin’ all the way, I’m still calling out orders like, “Get the propane tank away from the house before it blows!” We had one of those small propane tanks like you use on a grill hooked up to our heater at the time. Thankfully, it wasn’t a bigger one, because I found out later that the ammo in the gun cabinet had started going off by this time and Middle DS was trying to break the copper line going to the tank with his bare hands because he didn’t have any tools while dodging these rounds going off all over the place. That boy’s got skills I didn’t even know he had because he bobbed and weaved in all the right places getting it done and threw the propane tank on back in the yard away from the fire and heat. Little tip here: Don’t test the Big Bang Theory because it works every time.

“Move the dogs away from the house so they don’t get burned!” We had our dogs out in the yard on chains with all the amenities; dog house, food, water, pool, sauna, Xbox 360 with 40-inch LED TV, I mean, these dogs had it made. Well, Mr. FatChick springs into action and starts moving the dogs on their chains so they hopefully won’t get shot or turned into doggy jerky by the fire. Thankfully, it worked and all the dogs survived and are happy and healthy today and will be competing for the big prize in the DogGone Down South Doggie Xbox 360 Video Game Playoffs to be held later this summer. They’re hoping to win 3rd prize: free WiFi for you and two of your friends for life. What can I say, they’re addicted to Barkbook and Growler. I thought they’d want 1st prize: surgically implanted opposing thumbs so they can text faster. Go figure.

And I’m still making my way across the mud bog. Yes, this is The Original Fat Chick in high gear folks, and it’s like I’m moving in slow motion… Seriously. About this time I hear Mr. FatChick’s truck crank up. Now I know it can’t be him because he’s moving the dogs, it can’t be Middle DS because he’s busy with the propane tank, can’t be Almost a Son or Pregnant GF because they’re at her car waiting for me to get there. Who does that leave? Youngest DS. What?! Yep, Youngest DS, who doctors have said isn’t the brightest crayon in anyone’s box, figured out all on his own that his daddy’s truck was full of gas and if it stayed parked next to a burning house it would blow up. So he decided it might be a good idea since everyone else was a little preoccupied, for him to take some initiative and move it before that happened. You know why he thought of it? Because I’ve always told my kids, “Don’t test the Big Bang Theory because it works every time.” See, it’s amazing what kids pick up when you least expect it, so be careful what you teach even when you’re not thinking about it.

I finally make it to the car and Almost a Son helps me get into the front passenger side seat. Next think I know, Middle DS shows up with my laptop and tells me to lean forward, at which time he puts the laptop behind my back in the seat. Why he put it there I still don’t know, but that’s where he put it, and that’s where it stayed till I got to my parents’ house probably a couple of hours later. As a matter of fact, I’m writing this post on it right now. Don’t know if I’ve ever said this to you, but I know I should have. Thanks son.

Everybody except Mr FatChick makes it into Pregnant GF’s car and Middle DS gets us the heck out of there so none of us will get shot by the flaming trailer. We’re going up the road for him to go get one of the fire trucks to try to save what he can of our trailer when he remembers Mr. Fatchick might not need to be there alone with all those burning chemicals that trailers are made with since he has a serious heart condition and COPD. So he stops in the middle of the road, jumps out of the car, and starts running back to the house. Almost a Son jumps into the front seat and keeps driving us toward town because all we can think of is getting to a phone since all our cell phones were in the house and are probably toast by this time.

Then it hits me. We’re passing houses. We live in the country. I bet some of these folks have house phones. Why don’t we stop and use a phone? Yeah, go old school. So we back up and pull into the last driveway we passed, drive up the little hill, and Almost a Son runs up to the door and calls 911. Then out of nowhere Middle DS jumps into the front seat and we’re off to my parents’ house to use the phone to call 911 like he doesn’t see Almost a Son on the phone at this house. ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and a bigger impulse control disorder do not go well with fear and adrenaline. But at least we are now headed to my parents’ house, people I know and that I know can help.

Thank you to the many people who came to try to save our trailer. Unfortunately, it and just about everything in it was a total loss. Thankfully, no one was hurt while fighting the fire. And here we sit almost exactly a year later staying with my parents again for other reasons. I should probably be ashamed of that, but I’m not. We’re all together. We’re safe. We’re alive and happy. We’re still here to love and be loved, and that’s what matters. God isn’t done with us yet is all I can figure, and we’ll be here till His plan for us is complete. So this Thursday I’m thankful for a strong family that can come back from anything because we put our faith and trust in God and let him lead and we follow. He knows what He’s doing, we just need to stay out of His way and let Him work.

Thankful Thursday with FatChick411 Buton

What are thankful for? Please share in the comments section and inspire others.

 

Tall Tale Tuesdays are usually all about books, but this week, It’s all about this little ditty I found this morning. I think we can all use a good laugh to start the day. Enjoy!

razorbackwriteraus

The missus bought a paperback

down Shepton Mallet way.

I had a look inside her bag;

T’was Fifty shades of Grey.

Well, I just left her to it,

and at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

the sight filled me with dread….

In her left she held a rope;

and in her right a whip!

She threw them down on the floor,

and then began to strip.

Well, Fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek.

But Mabel hasn’t weathered well

She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Mabel bump and grind,

could not have been much grimmer.

And then things went from bad to worse.

She toppled off her zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

a couple of minutes later.

She put her teeth back in and said

“I am a Dominator!”

Now if you knew our Mabel.

you’d see just why…

View original post 86 more words

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